October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
For many parents, the love they have for their child begins long before they ever hold them. It grows through hopes, aspirations, conversations, and all the little ways they begin imagining a life together.
When a baby is lost during pregnancy or infancy, families may grieve not only the child they loved, but also the future they had already begun to imagine. From the first steps to birthdays, milestones, holidays, and memorable moments together. The moments that were anticipated with love but never had the chance to become memories.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, observed each October, gives us an opportunity to acknowledge these losses, support the families who carry them, and remember the little lives that continue to hold a lasting place in their hearts.
When There Are Few Memories to Hold
One of the unique difficulties of pregnancy and infant loss is that there are usually very few tangible memories left behind.
It could be an ultrasound image, a photograph, a hospital bracelet, a name carefully chosen, or simply the memories of conversations, plans for the future, and the anticipation of welcoming someone new into the world.
To someone else, these things may appear small. To a grieving parent or family, they can represent an entire chapter of life, love, and remembrance.
Everyone’s personal journey is unique and there is no single way to remember a child or navigate the grief that follows their loss. Some families find comfort in photographs and keepsakes. Some write or read poems, plant a tree or flowers, light a candle, or create something in their child's memory.
Others may choose to remember privately.
What matters is allowing people the freedom to remember in the way that feels right for them.
Sometimes the Kindest Thing Is to Remember
Pregnancy and infant loss can also be difficult for friends and extended family to talk about. We may worry about saying the wrong thing, bringing back painful feelings, or simply not know what to say.
But silence can sometimes leave grieving parents feeling as though a deeply meaningful part of their lives has been forgotten.
Supporting someone does not always require finding the perfect words. It can mean listening without trying to fix their grief. It can mean remembering an important date, acknowledging their child's name if they have shared it, or simply showing them that you care through kind gestures.
Grief does not follow the same timeline for everyone. Neither does remembrance.
Joining the Wave of Light
One of the most meaningful moments during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month takes place on October 15, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
Each year, families and supporters around the world participate in the Wave of Light by lighting a candle at 7 p.m. local time in remembrance of babies lost during pregnancy or infancy. As candles are lit across different time zones, they create a symbolic wave of light traveling around the world.
For some families, lighting a candle may be a quiet personal moment. Others may light one alongside family members, share a photograph or a child's name, say a prayer, read a poem, or simply spend a few moments remembering.
You do not have to have personally experienced pregnancy or infant loss to participate. Lighting a candle can also be a simple way to stand beside someone you love and acknowledge a child whose memory remains an important part of their life.
Remembering With Love
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month reminds us to make room for stories that are not always easy to tell and memories that may not always be visible to the rest of the world.
It is a time to remember the children who were deeply loved, the dreams and hopes attached to their lives, and the families who continue to carry their memory.
At iRemember, we believe that every life can leave a meaningful place in the hearts of those who loved them. Sometimes remembrance is found in a photograph or keepsake. Sometimes it is found in a story, a poem, a name, a candle, or a quiet moment of reflection.
However we choose to remember, love can give even the smallest memories a lasting place in our lives.
Finding Words for Remembrance
Sometimes poetry can express emotions that are difficult to put into our own words. If you or someone you care about is remembering a baby who has passed, we invite you to read our collection of poems for infant loss, with words of remembrance, love, and reflection for some of life's most difficult moments.
Remember That Love Lives On
